Rediscovery

So, I went to a dietician because help is good and so is health insurance.

The first great thing she did was not weigh me. She was all, "I need you to stop seeing your worth in a number."  I was like, "but how are you going to know if it's working?" And she was all, "um, I have eyes." So, I was like, "let's make out."

And then (AND THEN) she was all, "I know literally everyone has told you to stop eating carbs, but I am a professional and I have done research and I am telling you that you need to eat carbs. In fact, you should have pasta."

And then I dry humped her.

Happiness in the bottom of a glass

"What's the iced mocha like? Is it blended?"

"It's basically a caffeinated chocolate milkshake."

"Sold."

Walkin' on sunshine

Say what you want about the boring old suburbs but it has occasional, almost spiritual, moments of beauty.

Well you might never get rich

I may be a grown ass woman, but when an opportunity arises to go through the car wash... I may as well be 5 years old again. I went through this whole car wash oohing and clapping like Simple Jack.

Like my heart

I like to tell people I take my coffee black like my heart. 

It's probably more accurate to say my heart is fluffy on the surface with double strength underneath. 

Maybe a little bit bitter sometimes, but whose isn't?

Friday night's alright

In the time honoured tradition of our fathers and their fathers before them, on the fifth night there shall be battered fish and salted potatoes.

I worship at the shrine of their making.

So mote it be.

Date night

You just know that when your duck curry comes out with some grapes in it... some next level shit is about to happen to your mouth. Boom.